A few days ago I updated my Instagram profile with assertive heading “Solitude is my treasure”. It’s explain a lot to people about myself, but they get me wrong sometime, that I can’t work together, that I’m hard to speak aloud, that I don’t need somebody else, they said “uhh you are boring, nah lame I don’t want to walk around you, gimme a space”. They’re completely wrong, I need to share, a companion, attention (…yeah you just want attention, you don’t want my heart…ups sorry, I don’t want to sing Charlie Puth’s song). Everybody wants to be understood including me, I will trade my time with them who call my name within the silence.
I know people have a life, a good life while they’re enjoying the moments regardless the opinion of others. They will invite you to the boat that they can fade their loneliness, why you, in that time?, but you agree and stand by for them, you’re happy as well to be their guardian. Whether it will be forever like that? No, When you’re no cool anymore you will be placed in second or third of their priority to be called and you need an expensive ticket to on board again. Busy is not an excuse. Maybe in that time when you’re a passenger in that boat, you’re the only one who give a hand to them when the other turn their face, lucky you are an angel, but
fuck screw you in the end (sorry).
I remember a lot of people’s names, but I don’t really know them, well I don’t have to actually, but even I crop my small circle still that feeling annoys me. I don’t ask back what I give to them, just don’t make me hope and look stupid, maybe I’m pretending to be stupid because I know it all. People kill me with anomaly the way of their mind works. Here the things, what your focus when you’re alone?, where you’re complaining to when the silence consume you? “THE” people rite? so where they’re now? still by your side?, if no, do they choose to leave, or..? whatever.
Gresik, cloudy saturday
November 2017 @anggadarkprince